Sonny kinda funny
by komodor
Summary: This is a list of jokes from the Sonny game 2017. It is just copied from the game and my favourite ones are highlighted. If you want the whole story, watch some playtrough video. Otherwise enjoy. Rated T for language.


**Sonny kinda funny**

 **Author notes:** So the new Sonny game in 2017 steam release was not as good as many people expected, but there were some kinda funny jokes, so I decided to write them down. The **highlighted ones** are my favourite and in brackets are my reactions.()

Patient Zero 1

Louis: You died, and now you´re a zombie.

Sonny: Hah. Funny. Wait, WHAT!? I´m...I´m a ZOMBIE!?

Patient Zero 2

Sonny: Another zombie! Maybe I can talk to it. Hey! Hey buddy! Come with us, we´re getting out of here!

Acid zombie: Sscchhaakk…!

Sonny: Ahh! It spat on me! Get it off me!

Louis: I...I don´t know. **Think regenerative thoughts**?

Patient Zero 3

Sonny: What are you doing here? Shouldn´t you be trying to escape?

Shopkeeper: Yeah… naaah. YOU should be trying on some new threads. Come on!

The Silver Strand 1

Sonny: I need to say...I don´t want to kill you, but I just don´t see any other way out of this. Alright?

Suit Zombie: Mmmmgghr!

Sonny: Alright.

The Silver Strand 2

Veradux: Classic. Well, you at least got a name?

Sonny: Sonny…

Veradux: Haha! Nice name. A lil´ soft, maybe. Ain´t a strong name like… Veradux, say. And I bet more of your cousins are gonna be showing up any second now.

Veradux: A corpse AND an amnesiac. That´s some luck streak you got going there, champ.

Sonny: Yeah. It´s like I´m made of **rabbit feet.**

The silver Strand 3

Vendara: ALL Zeds are green, you dimwit!

The Silver Strand 4

Veradux: I call´em **Firespitters. Cuz they spit fire**. (reminds me of copy cat chanel how to speak german)

The Silver Strand 6

Sonny: So...are you like…...a robot or something?

Veradux: Jeez, Sonny. I know you´re smart for a zombie and all...but, damn. You´re pretty dumb, you know that?

Sonny: Give me a break.

Tera Jungle 2

Dr Herregods: I am Dr Tom Herregods. Researcher of mammalian genetic mutation with a focus in re-animation virus stains.

Veradux: **That´s a lot of fancy words**. (probably the best one, just so random :D) We´ve been lookin´ for you doc.

Dr Herregods: Me?

Yea, you. Unless there´s another crazy scientist living of coconut water and mutated flesh living in here.

Dr Herregods: Ah, no. just me.

Tera Jungle 3

Veradux: Wait, people still read forums? You hippies want to get a guitar out? Start singin´ Kumbaya?

Tera Jungle 4

Veradux: At least let us listen to the tap while we wait for you to have a nerdgasm.

Tera Jungle 6

Sonny: But where do we go? Somewhere less hot, I hope.

Veradux: I got air-con inside this baby, so I ain´t worried ´bout a few extra degrees.

Sonny: Oh and by the way, I´m so glad to head you´re really comfortable in there.

Veradux: Screw you.

Sonny: Like, really glad.

Veradux: Kid´s been sayin´ dumb crap since I met him. Now all of a sudden he´s got standards.

Tera Jungle 9

Corrupter: The land claims all! The land grows. Land takes.

Sonny: You can talk. But can you listen?

Corrupter: The land must eat so that it can give!

Veradux: **I´m feelin´ pretty anti-environmental right about now.**

Sonny: Same here.

Firewell Factory 1

Sonny: What the? They´re zombies!

Veradux: Well that was predictable.

Worker: Assemble...Distribute...Construct...

Veradux: No way! It´s worse then that...There ones understand the power of industrialization!

Firewell Factory 8

Carbon: **I want them gone. Dead. Deader than dead. Kill´ em a couple more times after you kill´ em dead.** Can I count on you?

Grosk: You betcha, boss man" Carbon, sir!

Firewell Factory 10

Dr Herregods: Your team destroyed my research facility, you pustulous stain!

Grosk: **Thank you for your complaints. Your feedback means a lot to us.** (like so neutral answer to every complaint, probably referring to the game problems even before they got any?)

The Hidden Forest 1

Veradux: **Sup, doc?** (almost bugs bunny reference)

Kara: Just...try not to say TOO much lame crap for the rest of our journey, okay?

Sonny:...harsh…

The Hidden Forest 3

Veradux: **Tell it to my big metal fist!** (I think terminator reference talk to the hand?)

Kara: The philosophy alarm is ringing. Move it along, boys.

Sonny: What should we call you?

Zakk: I am Zakkiatherous Anerexon. Ninth of my father in the tribe of witch hunters.

Veradux: I´m just gonna call ya Zakk.

Kata: Same here.

Herregods: For the sake of saving time, I will also call you Zakk.

Zakk:…

Sonny: Zakk´s a good name, don´t worry.

Zakk:...very well.

The Hidden Forest 11

Arcanis: I will purge your spoiled blood and free you of your curse.

Sonny: I´m not cursed… I´m blessed. When I came back to life I had a SIX PACK. Do you even know what that means to me?

Veradux: Pahaha"

Thunder Labs 1

Celestia: I, for example, have changed from a boring, mediocre electro-astrophysical engineer…...to a heavyweight bio-mechanical electro-astrophysical super conductor!

Herregods: What pseudo-scientific trash! There´s no such thing!

Celestia: Then let class begin. I will teach you the science.

Kara: Oh jeez. I freaking hate learning.

Thunder Labs 7

Carbon: **They´re pathetic. Some...puked up, pretend super-zombie. A cripple in a high-tech tin can! A nerd in tourist shorts. A skinny little girl with a toy gun and some ice-loving WHACK JOB FROM WHO KNOWS WHERE! Just pathetic.** (pretty much describes the whole team perfectly)

We´ll use them to finish of the ZPCI. Hey, maybe they´ll kill each other! I dunno. It IS a perfect plan, though. I come up with the best plans.

Celestia: I underst-

Carbon: Seriously. No one comes up with better plans than I do. Let me tell ya, mine are the best.

Thunder Labs 8

Sonny: We need to rest.

Kara: Hmph. The dead guy wants to rest.

Veradux: You gotta know when to stop and put a stwe on, honey.

Kata: Call me honey again and it´ll be you boiling in that pot.

Thunder Labs 10

Dr Herregods: **I´m getting fed up with this lazy usage of the word "super" to describe a VERY complex thing!** (yea they use it a LOT)

Veradux: Yo, how much longer you gonna be geeking out in here Doc? I´m getting´ the itch to do some more hurtin´.

Nothing funny in Blackhall Keep :(

ZPCI Stronghold 2

Dr Klima: W-well, ah…

Vendara: That green one. That ZED. THAT…...SONNY…...He´s can have what´s left of him to **stick your probe into, doctor.**

ZPCI Stronghold 4

Veradux: Alright, see the thing is, I blame you for this, Zakk. With all your fire talk.

Zakk: Me? You are as unfair as the sea, my friend.

Sonny: Veradux, get off his back.

Veradux: Oooh! Or you´ll do what?

Sonny: I´ll spit in your mouth. You´ll catch zombie.

Veradux: Hahaha!

Kara: Haah! -achem…

Veradux: Oh snap. Did YOU just laugh at a Sonny joke?

Kara: Pfff, no. Come on. This is serious.

ZPCI Stronghold 6

Dr Klima: Carbon has fooled you all…

Sonny: Carbon...?

Dr Klima: **He truly is the change we needed...To make the Humanity great again** …! (Hail Trump)

Veradux: He needed to be taken out. One crazy scientist is enough.

Dr Herregods:...hey!

ZPCI Stronghold 11

Carbon: Praetor, baby! Look, I won´t keep you long. I know you´re up to your eyeballs in death right about now.

ZPCI Praetor: What is this…

Carbon: I just wanted to send a big thanks your way for paying for my super weapon.

ZPCI Praetor:...your?

Carbon: Now there´s a lot of dead folk. And a crater the size of my bank account. Which is freaking huge, by the way.

ZPCI Praetor: You…

Carbon: See, I told you I could make you a good super weapon. I make the best super weapons. Really, I can´t think of a better zombie who can. Oops! Did I let the cat out the bag?

ZPCI Praetor: Zombie…? You…?

Carbon: **Yeah. Funny, huh? All I had to do was keep my back to you and you never noticed I wasn´t human.** (it kinda is since the whole game is about zombies and who would have though he is, well he looked like a human from behind) Whoa, okay, look – you´re getting a little shouty now. It´s not good for the blood pressure.

The Red Pillars 2

Carbon: There´s Sonny...Which is a sweet name, it really is. It´s real cute. Then we got Veradux. **Legs** (cripple joke :D), I like to call him. "Ooohh! I wanna help but my legs don´t work! Waahh, Carbon, please help me!" Sure, have a free robot suit. Don´t pay a penny for it. Sure. I´ll just GIVE it away.

Doctor Herregods, as I LIVE and BREATHE! Or should I say...MISTER Herregods? Not really supposed to be calling yourself a Doctor when you´ve had **your license revoked right?** (every doctor in video game ever, Ah, anyway…...that´s how I lost my medical license. TF2)

Give me a girl who bathes in water, not blood. I mean, sheeesh. Leave the big boy stuff to the big boys, know what I mean?

Then there´s the guy from the stone-age over there. Your name I forget. I guess it´s not that important to me. Rack? Jack? Mack? I don´t know. **We ought to build a big old wall and keep you out in the cold.** (another Trump reference, or maybe Game of Thrones, I don´t know)

The Red Pillars 6

Carbon: Infecting EVERYBODY is gonna be hard work. It´s too tough. It´s like trying to count all my money. But if you BLOW UP most of the world...There´s a lot less people around. Genius!

The Red Pillars 12

Veradux: God damnit! The shield ain´t commin´ down!

Carbon: That´s cuz I have all the best shields, and you don´t. You guys are dumb. Reeeeeal dumb. And stood next to me, you´re dumb beyond words.

Veradux: We´re gonna make you **pay** Carbon.

Carbon: Yeah? Then **show me the invoice** ,(by ? No, you gonna pay pal.) fools!

Carbon: And now, to finish off...Prepare to witness my true form!

If you lose: Carbon has the best tips. No one has better post-defeat tips than carbon.

The Red Pillars 13

Veradux: Whoa, you just got WAY uglier.

Carbon: Oh, YEAH?! Ugly, huh?! Is that why there´s a truck load of bikini babes in my mansion?!

Kara: That´ll just be because you´re rich.

Nobody could death rattle better then Carbon.

If you lose: No, really. Carbon cannot be defeated. Just give up, fools.

 **Author notes:** The game itself wasn´t bad but felt unfinished. Also note this is just the Sonny 2017 game jokes, I might go over the first two games and find some more, but probably later or never.

 **THE END**


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